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Wedding Etiquette: How to keep up on changing wedding trends in the 21st century

Updated on August 11, 2009

Wedding Etiquette

Have you ever been to that wedding where there were people dressed in clashing outfits? Or how about the reception where the drunk relative was an embarassment to himself?

Are you planning a wedding yourself and would like to know the ins and outs of wedding etiquette? Or do you just want to know the unspoken rules of a formal wedding for when you attend?

There's no doubt about it- today's wedding etiquette has rapidly evolved from previous years. There are still, however, many things about today's weddings that have been traditionally handed down over the years.

Sorting between the two can make a difference in the enjoyment of the wedding you attend or the wedding you will plan!

Wedding Etiquette Defined

Wedding etiquette is a vague term that could be taken many ways, so let's attempt to define it.

Since a wedding has traditionally been a formal event, there have always been rules or expectations for guests, participants and others involved. Think of a wedding as a black tie event or a formal business meeting. Certainly in these situations one needs to carefully determine which sorts of behaviors are acceptable and which should be avoided.

Put simply, wedding etiquette is the socially acceptable dos and donts for the event.

Common Wedding Etiquette Questions

Probably one of the most common questions is who pays for what in the wedding. There are a ton of expenses to consider for a wedding (and other things related to a wedding), such as:

  • Wedding invitations and announcements
  • Bridal party attire
  • Church rental (or similar)
  • Floral arrangements
  • Reception (food, location rental, catering, etc)
  • Honeymoon

There are also many things to consider when choosing wedding attire, including:

  • Wedding gown options
  • Color scheme
  • Accessories of bridal party
  • Reception outfits (if different)

Other commonly asked etiquette questions include:

  • How do I properly word my wedding invitations?
  • Who should I invite to my wedding?
  • Who should be in my wedding party?
  • What should I do with everyone who doesn't get invited but still know us fairly well?
  • Is it tacky to ask for money instead of gifts?
  • What role does the wedding party play?
  • Which wedding themes are acceptable? Which are not?

Answers to these questions will follow in hubs to come. In the mean time, take a look at this article on specific wedding trends that today's weddings are making. And remember, even if you don't know about them, there are unspoken rules and behaviors for weddings today. Keep up with them so you don't get left behind.

Wedding etiquette says this is a more acceptable pose at a destination (beach) wedding.
Wedding etiquette says this is a more acceptable pose at a destination (beach) wedding.
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